throw it away
by kristy87
Summary: Just a little thing 4 fun…..GSR, antisporkish NOW EDITED


Disclaimer: I do not own CSI

An: Now edited, thanks to Rhee for beta reading!

Summary: Grissom and Sara have something in common, they both don't like sporks ;)

Warning: OOC

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**Throw It Away**

"So, may I ask you why you asked me out for dinner?" She asked softly.

Grissom swallowed hard. "Am I not allowed to ask a friend out for dinner?"

"Well, I just thought. I mean I was a little confused why you did it."

"Why is it confusing?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Because everybody at the department thinks that there is something going on between you and Sara." She brushed a strand of hair back behind her ear.

Grissom sighed. "There is nothing going on between me and Sara." Sadly, he thought.

"But you would like it if there was."

"How can you know?"

"Oh come on, just the way you said 'there is nothing going on between me and Sara'. Grissom, Grissom, your actions betray you."

"They never did."

Sophia laughed softly. "That's what you think, because no one tells you it, doesn't mean that no one does notice something."

"Does she know?" Suddenly he realized the full meaning of her words.

"Obviously."

Grissom stared in his glass as if he was hoping to find answers to his questions in it. Answers that he needed, answers that he desperately needed. Answers to questions he didn't know.

"Hey, you didn't answer my question yet. Why did you ask me out for dinner?"

"I honestly don't know." He confessed.

"Am I just the impromptu date?"

"No, you're a friend that I asked for dinner." She wasn't the impromptu date or was she? He honestly didn't know.

"Does she know that I am just a friend?"

"She doesn't know that we are here, she doesn't know that we are having dinner."

"But she will get to know. Grissom those rumors about us started the second that you asked me out for dinner and Sara is not deaf. This thing will make her even more jealous than she already is."

"You think she is jealous?" Sara and jealous? He had never thought that Sara was in the position to get jealous; there was nothing she had to fear. The problem was probably that she didn't know that no one was a competition to her though.

"I think that, if looks could kill, I wouldn't be here anymore."

Grissom couldn't help but chuckle softly. No, he really couldn't imagine Sara being jealous enough to harm Sophia, although the thought of it was charming.

"She's jealous, she has more than a serious crush on you. Grissom this girl is obviously in love with you and you should maybe go and tell her that you feel the same for her, because I can promise you that the moment that she finds about this here she will either get even more jealous and she will kill me… or she will get so angry and she will feel so hurt that she will quit her job because she isn't able to see you anymore because you hurt her so much."

"Would you mind finishing dinner alone?" He didn't think Sara would overreact like that, but he was better safe than sorry.

"No, go and get her. It's time to act like a man," she said smiling.

Grissom almost jumped out of his chair and left the restaurant. He started his car and drove to her apartment.

She opened the door, staring at him in disbelief.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She asked with an angry undertone in her voice.

_Does she already know about my dinner with Sophia?_

Grissom swallowed hard. "I …I wanted to see you."

"But I don't want to see you." She returned snappy.

"Why not?"

"You know why."

Grissom nodded softly. "Sara, let me explain. Please."

"I don't want any explanations. I want to be alone… I… I don't think that I want to see you now."

He felt how his heart broke. The way she had said this could have made him cry right then. But he forced himself to stay strong. "Sara, please." He pleaded.

He saw that she struggled with herself whether to slam the door shut in his face or to let him come in.

"Why are you doing this to me?" She asked after short while. Grissom realized how much strength it cost her not to cry.

"Because I am an…. idiot… I am a stupid idiot. I should have… I should never have done such a stupid mistake."

"Why… why did you ask her out for dinner? I just don't get it. What does she offer that I can't?" She really sounded desperate. He felt so sorry.

"Security." He answered shortly, not wanting to discuss all this outside here.

"What?" She didn't want to understand this.

"Sara, may I please come in?" He asked almost desperately.

She nodded softly and let him in.

He glanced around the room. It was a mess. Ripped papers, ripped pictures, broken glass everywhere.

"What the hell?"

"…I… got angry." Suddenly she blushed and got kind of shy.

"Is this how you try to calm down?"

"Normally not. But…this was special. You can't imagine what you do to me, can you?" She asked sarcastic, growing more confident again.

He swallowed hard when he spotted an article from a forensic magazine, or better said he spotted the rest of it. She must have attacked the picture of him with a knife and later ripped what had still been left of it. "I …I'm sorry."

"I don't give a damn about that," she walked into the kitchen, opening a drawer.

Grissom hoped she wouldn't reach for a knife. He knew she wouldn't, but there were other things he thought he'd know – and he had been proven wrong before. "You know what… I honestly think my whole life would be so much better if I'd be able to say the same about you… but I can't help it, I care for you. More than I should… Grissom… I…"

"….Sara. Please give me a chance to explain this to you." He still worried that the thing she held in her hand was a knife, he was relieved when it turned out to be a spork.

"What… what do you want to do with this thing?" He asked and threw an asking look at her.

"Eating ice-cream… ice-cream always helped me away over a broken heart… surely it wont help now, because this, this is different, but it's worth trying if it might maybe, at least, lets me think I could get over you one day."

"You eat ice-cream with a spork?"

"No," She sighed when her gaze fell on the spork in her hand. "I must have taken it by mistake."

"That happens to me all the time," he said softly. "Sara I never meant to hurt you. I… I was afraid to get hurt, so I tried to hide myself in something… stupid. I thought I could burry my feelings for you, I hoped that I could forget about them, because it drives me crazy… seeing you everyday, longing for you every single second of my life but always knowing that I can never have you… this is killing me."

"I think you better leave now." She sighed and tried not to meet his gaze.

"Why?"

"I have to clean this mess up."

"I could help you." He offered, his hope clearly reflected in his voice.

"Thanks… you could start with the kitchen… would you please throw away all the sporks… I don't need them."

A smile flashed over his face. "Who needs sporks if he can have something so much better than this."

"And that would be?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I know a lot of things…" He shrugged.

"What means the most to you?" She asked, well knowing that challenging him might also lead to more pain, but somehow she knew that there was nothing to fear anymore.

"You." He said softly and with much more confidence than he thought he could come up with.

"I am a thing?"

"No… you are the woman I care for." His lips formed into a sweet smile.

"Okay… how much do you care?"

"Sara, telling you that I care for you cost me enough courage for today… give me some time to gain new courage… and then we will continue this conversation." He promised.

A smile flashed over her face. "At least we have the same feelings about sporks."

She reached for the hand in which he held one of the sporks, then they threw it into the trash can together and then smiled brightly at each other.

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THE END


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